Many couples seek a happy and thriving marriage. But let’s be honest—keeping a relationship strong requires effort. The good news? There’s one habit that can completely change the game for your marriage. It can improve how you communicate, deepen your connection, and keep both of you aligned as a team.
It’s called the Marriage Meeting. If you’re not doing this yet, you’re missing a great way to strengthen your relationship.
Why Most Marriages Struggle
Studies show that over 60% of married people aren’t truly happy in their relationships. The problem? Many couples drift apart over time because they don’t check in with each other in a meaningful way.
Life gets busy—kids, careers, responsibilities—it’s easy to slip into autopilot. Before you know it, you’re just living under the same roof instead of building a life together.
A marriage meeting helps prevent that. It keeps your relationship intentional instead of just reactive.
What Is a Marriage Meeting?
A Marriage Meeting is a structured but relaxed check-in where you and your partner:
- Review what matters most to you as a couple.
- See where you’re thriving and where you need to improve.
- Communicate without nagging or fighting.
- Set small, achievable goals to keep your relationship growing.
It’s not a place to complain or point fingers. Instead, it’s about working together as a team.
Step 1: Define Your Core Values
Before you start, take time to identify your shared values. What truly matters to both of you? Some common areas include:
✅ Finances – Are we saving, investing, and budgeting wisely?
✅ Family Time – Are we making enough time for quality moments together?
✅ Intimacy – Are we satisfied with our emotional and physical connection?
✅ Spiritual Growth – How are we growing in our faith or personal beliefs?
✅ Fun & Adventure – Are we creating experiences together, or just going through the motions?
✅ Home Life – Are there projects or household responsibilities that need attention?
Write these down or keep a note on your phone. These become the foundation of your marriage meeting.
Step 2: Check-In and Rate Your Progress
Once a month (or biweekly, if needed), sit down together and go through your values. Use a simple rating system:
- Green 🟢 – This area is thriving; keep it up.
- Yellow 🟡 – Needs improvement, but we’re doing okay.
- Red 🔴 – This area needs serious attention.
For example, let’s say finances are important to you. Ask:
- Did we stick to our budget this month?
- Are we saving what we planned to save?
- Do we need to adjust anything?
If you both see finances as yellow, you can talk about small changes. This way, it won’t lead to an argument.
Step 3: Set Small Goals and Adjust As Needed
After rating each area, set small, realistic goals to improve where needed. These don’t have to be massive changes—just small, intentional steps forward.
For example:
- If intimacy is in the red zone, set a goal to have a date night every two weeks.
- If family time is lacking, plan a fun activity together this weekend.
- If finances need attention, schedule a budgeting session before your next meeting.
Pro Tip: The first few meetings might feel a little awkward, but over time, this becomes second nature. The key is consistency.
Step 4: Choose the Right Time and Make It Fun
Timing is everything. Do not schedule a marriage meeting:
🚫 When one of you is exhausted after a long day
🚫 Right after an argument
🚫 In the middle of distractions (like kids running around)
Instead, pick a calm, relaxed time—maybe over coffee in the morning, on a Sunday evening, or even during a casual date night.
Make it enjoyable. Sit down with your favorite drinks, light a candle, or go for a walk while talking. Keep it positive!
Step 5: Focus on the Problem, Not Each Other
Marriage meetings aren’t about blame—they’re about teamwork. If something isn’t working, approach it as, “How do we fix this together?” instead of, “Why aren’t you doing this?”
When couples stop battling each other and begin to fight for their relationship, things change.
What Happens If You Skip This?
Without regular check-ins, small frustrations can build into major conflicts. You risk:
❌ Feeling like roommates instead of partners
❌ Constant miscommunication and misunderstandings
❌ Growing apart instead of growing together
The couples that thrive long-term don’t just leave their marriage to chance—they nurture it intentionally.
The Marriage Meeting Challenge
Here’s your challenge: Schedule your first marriage meeting this week.
Set one small goal to improve
- Pick a time that works for both of you
- Write down 3-5 core values
- Rate where you’re at in each area
For more relationship advice, click here, and for more videos, click here.
